Lies, Secrets, and Lies
by 0dd Squ4d
Summary: "Axel, it's not that I can't tell you... it's that I don't want to. I did something bad. Worse than bad. I really shouldn't deserve you..." T for language, AkuDemy, product of DarkeAngelle and Xx KittyRawr xX! :D


"JUST GET LOST, AXEL!" Demyx screamed before slamming the door to his room shut.

Axel stood on the other side of the door, a little stunned at the outburst and opened the door again. "Demyx? I'm sorry."

From inside came a small whisper of "I said... go... away... please."

Axel frowned. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want to make Demyx any more upset than he was. "Okay... Bye, I guess..."

Demyx didnt reply but he listened and sighed as he heard Axel's slow footsteps fade

Axel got into his car outside of the apartment building, but he didn't make any move to drive away. He just sat there, wishing he could take it all back.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? Why did he have to pry? From anger at himself, Axel punched the steering wheel. He hissed in pain and rubbed his knuckles, still staring at the building in front of him. He really wanted to go back in and ask Demyx more about it, but...

It would just make matters worse, although, at this point that seemed pretty difficult. Knowing that things couldn't possibly get worse, he got out of his car with new determination and made his way back up to Demyx's room, knocking softly and awaiting a reply.

Inside, Demyx heard the knock and he guessed it was his next door neighbor. He got up and went to the door, wiping the tears from his face. He moved the cover of the peep hole and looked out. He saw axel on the other side and sighed, noticing that Axel looked anxious. He knew Axel wasn't going to just give up, so he reluctantly opened the door a crack.

"Axel... Just gimme me some time... Please..." Demyx whispered. Axel placed his hand against the door and sighed.

"Demyx, I don't know why you're so upset about this. You know I'm here for you and I won't judge you... Just tell me, please. It can't be that bad."

"Axel. it's not that I can't tell you... its that I don't want to. I did something bad. Worse than bad. I really shouldn't deserve you..." Axel was silent "what I'm saying is that... maybe we shouldn't be together"  
Axel sighed, the ghost of a smile on his lips in doubt. "Demyx, what the hell could you have done that would make you think we should break up?"

"Axel. No..." he breathed, a pressure was starting to build up behind his eyes, tears threatening to fall. "Don't make this harder than it already is..."

Axel knew if he kept this up, Demyx would cry. But, he just didn't want to break up with no reason. He looked around in the hallway, noticing no one was around. He stepped forward into the apartment, forcing Demyx back. He was going to get his answers whether Demyx wanted to give them or not.

Demyx backed up, the water filling his eyes. "Don't do this Axel ... Don't do it!" he shook his head repeatedly as the tears began to fall.

"Then tell me," he said with the air of a threat, closing the door behind him as he took another step forward. "I need to know."

"No!" he said loudly, his voice cracking. "Why should you know? If I want to break up... you can't do anything about it!" His voice cracked many more times.

"I can do a _lot_ about it, Demyx. It can't be that hard just to tell me." He seemed completely unfazed by Demyx's crying and pleading. He wasn't one to be won over by such trivial things.

Demyx continued backing up until his back came up against the wall opposite his door. Axel kept coming and put his hands just above each of his shoulders, either side of his head. Trapping him there.

Smiling at how cliché the words coming out of his mouth were, he locked eyes with Demyx, putting every ounce of danger and threat as he could into them. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Demyx. No matter what it is, you're going to tell me."

Demyx gulped_. I couldn't tell him the truth, that I cheated on him when I got drank last week, it would break Axel,_ a little voice in his head spoke; _Lie_. Demyx swallowed again and looked into his eyes "This is it Axel. You're so pushy, you practically forced me into this relationship, you're not forcing me to stay."

Axel's eyes widened slightly as the threat left them. He'd never really noticed before... He dropped his hands and took a few steps back. "Sorry..." He really was, but it seemed like such a stupid thing to say...

Demyx couldn't meet his eyes again, couldn't look at his facial expression again. "Just-" his voice broke and he tried again "Just... go," he whispered softly

Axel swallowed, surprised at the sudden hotness there. Was he seriously going to cry? He took a deep breath and another step back. "So... this is it?"

"Yeah" Demyx muttered, glaring into the floor, it felt like a hole was ripping through his chest.

Axel knew he had to go, but he couldn't move. "There's nothing I can do?" He tried keeping his voice steady, but it wavered slightly with emotion.

"No." Demyx bit his tongue.

Axel stepped away from him and turned, managing to put one foot in front of the other and he eventually made it to the door. He opened it slowly, exposing the hall, but he didn't make any move to leave. He had paused, turning his head to give Demyx a final glance, his eyesight blurring slightly from his unshed tears. "I loved you, you know."

"Okay" Demyx hadn't moved.

Axel left numbly, closing the door behind him, as soon as he heard a car start and pull away at an alarming speed. Demyx sank to his knees and cried. True heartbroken tears dribbled over from his eyes and fell onto the carpet.

-*-*- THREE MONTHES LATER -*-*-

"One more," Axel slurred, sliding an empty shot glass back at the bartender. Luxord raised an eyebrow, surprised that Axel hadn't thrown up or passed out yet. "I think you've had enough..."

"I know when I've-" He hiccupped "When I-" And again, there was a pause. "What are we talking about?"

Luxord had trouble understanding as all his words that were mashed together. "You were just saying how you've had enough" He smirked. Luxord sighed and poured the man another drink before giving it to him. "What's your problem anyway? You became a regular in no time. Lady problems?"

Axel scowled at his shot and quickly downed it. "You could say that," he slurred before hiccupping again and silently asking for another shot, which Luxord refused to give him. Axel was going to snap at him but when he opened his mouth, he burped and started to giggle. Someone down the bar called Luxord's name and a smiled danced across his face. Axel watched as Luxord went down the bar and grimaced as Luxord leaned over the bar and kissed a smaller boy who had silvery-purple hair.

He quickly looked away, back at his empty shot glass. It seemed like, for the past three months, he'd been surrounded by couples. All that did for him was make him miss Demyx even more. And what _that_ did, was make him want to drink until he didn't even know his own name.

But there was always a little voice at the back of his head that said "Demyx wouldn't approve of you drinking so much" but that little, nagging voice made him want to drink more. To drown even that out.

Knowing that Luxord was preoccupied, Axel reached across the bar for a large bottle of scotch, not even bothering to pour himself a shot as he started drinking straight from the bottle, wanting and needing to forget.

It was suddenly ripped from his grasp. "Please Axel, stop."

Demyx.

He feared to open his eyes, in case Demyx would run.

"Stop drinking, you'll kill yourself. Just get over me... it's what I would want."

"Demyx. I need you back, what do I have to do?"

Demyx's voice suddenly became distorted; deeper. "Wake up Axel. Open your eyes!" His eyes snapped open upon Demyx's command, Only to be met by a lovely view of the ceiling.

Axel blinked several times and looked around, feeling his head spin. "Demyx?" he slurred, trying to find the mulleted blonde. He did find a blonde, but, to his dismay, it wasn't Demyx.

"I told you, you've had enough."

"Where did Demyx go?" he asked, looking extremely dazed.

"Who?" was the confused reply from the purple haired boy.

"Demyx." He started to panic. Where was he? He was just there, talking to him. Where had he gone? "Demyx. My boyfriend. Where is he?"

Luxord looked equally confused. "You told me you were single."

A stabbing pain went through his heart at this realization. "Oh, oh yeah..." he murmured, fading out.

"Axel, snap out of it!" Demyx's voice pierced his skull and he winced. Demyx wasn't there... Why was he hearing him?

"Axel? Axel!" Luxord sighed as Axel slumped down, unconscious. "Never listens..."

The purple haired man looked shocked at how laid-back Luxord was being. "He just passed out! He drank half the bar! We have to call an ambulance or something!"

"No point" Luxord muttered "He'll be fine..."

Zexion gave him a disgusted look and sighed. "I'll manage the bar. _You_ sort _this_ out" he said savagely.

Luxord sighed as Zexion left for the bar. He looked down at Axel's unconscious form, deciding to at least prop him up so he wouldn't choke on vomit in his sleep. With that, he figured Axel was taken care of enough, and he left.

THE NEXT DAY

Axel held the glass of cold water to his forehead. He decided earlier that day that he would come to the bar but not drink. After spending most of the day vomiting, it seemed like a bad idea. He sighed again as the purple-haired boy from the night before slid into the seat next to him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Axel just scowled in response.

"I didn't introduce myself before. My name's Zexion."

"Axel," he countered. "What do you want?"

Zexion smirked "Looks like you could use a friend?" he asked.

"With all due respect... can you leave me alone?" he said bluntly. Something flew across the bar and connected with Axel's head. He looked up

"Don't be rude to my boyfriend!" Luxord yelled over the people in the bar.

Axel shot him a glare, daring him to throw something else.

Zexion winced slightly. "Uh... sorry about that. But, really, what's wrong?"

Axel took a sip of the water and stared at it, starting to wish that he had a glass of alcohol instead and that he had stayed home. "It's nothing, really. Just me being a whiny little bitch."

Zexion laughed politely. "Oh?"

Axel sighed, deliberating between exploding all of this thoughts from the past three months or just leaving the bar, going home, and sleeping it off.

He didn't really want Luxord throwing something at him again, plus he was sick of holding everything back. So, he told Zexion everything. He didn't really care that he hardly knew him, he just found himself pouring out his past and his emotions to the intent Zexion.

By the end of it, Zexion looked slightly scared, but Axel didn't care. It's was amazing... to have all of that off of his chest.

Zexion breathed out, "it sounds to me that he was making excuses..."

Axel's head shot round "What?"

Zexion shrugged. "Well, you just told me about all the good times you guys have had... so why suddenly end it? Use your head." With that, Zexion got up and walked away, leaving a stunned Axel blinking behind him

Just making excuses? For what? Axel may have had one hell of a hangover, but his brain was still functioning enough for him to figure it out...

Demyx had lied to him.

He got up and practically ran out of the bar, stumbling a bit. He hopped in his car and started it, speeding down the road with the petal to the metal. He was going to find out the truth this time.

His phone began to ring and he pulled over. The caller ID said it was Luxord. He smirked and answered, "Hey, kinda busy here...You know... Saving my relationship and everything."

"It's Zexion. Before you go, shower. You stink." That was all that was said before he hung up.

Axel hung up, somewhat insulted. Taking a whiff of his shirt, he suddenly realized exactly what Zexion meant. He sighed and pulled a wildly illegal u-turn, heading back to his own house to shower, get some cleaner clothes, and actually think about how he was going to handle the situation. He literally sprinted up the stairway and began to get angry when his key was jamming in the lock. He showered with alarming speed and, when he got to his room, he froze. What was he going to wear?

He suddenly ran to his closet, staring at the clothes hanging up there. Was it appropriate for him to wear jeans and t-shirt? No, he hadn't seen Demyx in months. Maybe it was more of a black tie event. Maybe just something in the middle. He began pulling clothes out and throwing them on the floor. Once the closet was empty, he turned and stared at the clothes on the floor to try and decide.

He grabbed at his hair and spun, hoping that would clear his mind. And then it hit him. Hidden away at back of his dresser... the T-shirt Demyx had brought him. Black, with flames.

Then he decided. That t-shirt with black jeans. Formal, yet casual.

He fussed with his hair, making sure not a single spike was out of place. He sprayed himself with cologne and decided that was good enough for presentation. He ran down the stairs and back out into his car, heading back for Demyx's apartment once again.

As he drove, he tried to figure out the words he could say. How he would act... one thing he did promise himself is that he refused to get angry. He refused to cry and he straight out _refused_ to let Demyx get out of telling him again. He wasn't going to leave until either the got the answers he wanted and he and Demyx were back together or he was convinced that Demyx truly didn't want to be with him. Or he was dragged away, kicking and screaming, by the police.

When he finally reached Demyx's apartment room door, he had nothing prepared. He just figured he would ask for the truth and, if all else failed, beg for him back on his knees.

He took a breath and knocked, but moved out of the way for the peep hole to see... He wasn't going to not have Demyx even open the door.

He heard footsteps on the other side and a soft voice wondering aloud why there wasn't anyone on the other side. Thinking there might have been a package or something, Demyx opened the door. His eyes widened when he saw Axel, but the redhead just smiled.

"Hey," he greeted casually.

He watched Demyx look up and swallow so hard that Axel heard it. "What-" He lost his voice and cleared his throat. "What are you doing here?" His voice was still pretty weak.

The reaction wasn't very reassuring. Demyx was looking Axel over, noticing dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in a long time. He noticed the shirt that Axel was wearing and guessed the answer before Axel said it.

"I want to know the real reason why we broke up."

"I told you before," Demyx muttered, looking to the floor.

"Look at me," Axel commanded, completely in control of his emotions for the moment.

Demyx obeyed reluctantly.

"You lied to me," Axel accused. "You would have mentioned something earlier if I was too pushy for you. What really happened?"

"Come in." Demyx glared at the floor again.

"Tell me," Axel pushed, not moving.

"Axel... Come inside and we'll talk," Demyx said with a little more effort.

Axel blinked, and came inside awkwardly, feeling like he didn't belong. After all, they hadn't seen each other for three months. Three long alcohol-filled months - for Axel, at least. He slowly followed him, watching him carefully for any sign of the blonde being angry. He closed the door behind them, trying to contain his excitement for actually hearing the truth.

"Tea? Coffee?" Demyx asked, but then a small smile danced across his lips and, before Axel could speak, he said "I know: Strong coffee, one sugar, and a tiny bit of milk." He turned and left for the kitchen, and Axel, again, slowly followed him. Shocked at how the blonde remembered that and annoyed at how he was dancing around the subject.

He leaned against the wall of the small kitchen as Demyx began making the coffee, determined not to get distracted. "So why did you lie?"

Demyx kept his eyes on the mug of coffee he was stirring, not answering for a bit. He offered the coffee to Axel, but he didn't accept it.

"Demyx, please. Just tell me."

Demyx went past Axel, muttering about how all good conversations should be held on the sofa, and he carried Axel's coffee into the other room and placed it on the table. Axel sighed in frustration. Then he yet again followed Demyx and jumped over the back of the pale blue sofa and sat next to him.

"Stop beating around the bush," Axel snapped, his anger breaking through slightly. "I just want to know, okay? It can't be that bad. I won't be mad and you know I won't judge you, so just tell me."

"Why does it matter?" Demyx asked quietly

"It matters because I need to know why you think we need to break up." He sighed. "Well, why we _did_ break up."

"I CHEATED, OKAY?" Demyx's head had snapped up and he literally yelled it into Axel's face "I didn't tell you because I couldn't hurt you, knowing I can't control myself. I couldn't hurt you and _I'm sorry!_"

Axel felt a lump in his throat "Who... Why?"

Demyx bit his lip "The... umm... party that you couldn't make... 'cause of your work. I got hammered and Xigbar kissed me... and I didn't stop it."

Axel just stared, completely not expecting something like that. He expected maybe a minor crime or maybe just doubts, but he hadn't been expecting cheating. "Wait... so, you were just drunk?"

Ashamed, Demyx nodded.

"Well... that's not that big of a deal. I mean, you didn't kiss him. _He_ kissed _you_ and you were drunk, right? It's fine, Demyx. Definitely not something to break up over."

His face lit up. "You mean it?" Demyx sniffed, close to tears again.

"Of course. Again, I did mean it... I loved you, I still do and I am damn sure not going to let us break up over this."

Demyx stayed silent for a few moments before he seized Axel's face and kissed him.

Axel was surprised, but he quickly got past the initial shock, happiness and victory coming to the surface as he kissed him back. But, there was a little angry voice in the back of his head muttering about three months spent at a bar for problems he didn't really have.

Axel quickly pulled Demyx's face from his. "Does this mean we're back together?" he breathed against his lips.

Demyx's eyes searched his face and he nodded shyly before eagerly kissing him again.

Axel broke away once more, watching him warily. Something was still bothering him, though. "So... am I really all that pushy?"

Demyx looked confused for a moment before realizing what he was talking about. "No... No, you're not. I mean, sometimes you are, but it's never without a good excuse."

Axel chuckled, the movement vibrating against Demyx's chest "You're so silly sometimes" he laughed.

Demyx blushed lightly at the comment in slight embarrassment. "Well, it's true..."

Not really wanting to talk any more than they had to, he leaned in again to kiss him, successfully silencing him. He wished he could stay like that. He wished there hadn't been a three month gap and such a misunderstanding. But, he figured they could put it behind them and pick up right where they left off.

Axel suddenly grinned, and again, Demyx glanced up to look into his eyes. "What?" he asked.

Axel just kept grinning "Zexion was quite right."

"Who's Zexion?"

"Luxord's Boyfriend."

"Who's Luxord?"

Axel laughed. "Oh, you've missed a lot..."

Demyx tilted his head in confusion. "What all did I miss?"

Axel shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "Not much. Mostly just me binging out on drinks."

Demyx's eyes widened. "Drinking?"

"Yeah."

He looked upset. "Why would you do that?"

Axel sighed and averted his eyes until Demyx loudly cleared his throat and Axel's eyes connected with his again. "I... Err... Missed You?" he eventually said.

"If it makes you feel better... I've been living off of ice cream and pizza," Demyx laughed.

Axel laughed along. "That's better than alcohol, I can tell you that. You don't pass out with pizza and ice cream."

Demyx looked a little ashamed. "Food comas."

Why had he even dumped Axel? Thinking back on it, it was such a stupid idea. It was scary, thinking that he had been so close to losing Axel like that. Axel noticed Demyx's change of attitude, but Demyx spoke before he could ask what was wrong. "I'm really sorry, Axel," he said softly, watching Axel's eyes for his reaction.

Axel smashed their lips together in a bruising kiss, trying to pour everything into it: all their missed time together, all of his feelings; desperations for them to be close again, longing, happiness... All his love. Demyx was taken off-guard by the kiss, but he was quick to kiss back, moving his arms to wrap around Axel's neck and pull him closer. It felt good, having him back like this.

His thoughts turned to mush after that as he felt Axel's tongue challenge his to a fight. Demyx lost and allowed Axel's tongue to slide around his mouth, successfully creating a more powerful heat that turned Demyx himself into mush. Once out of breath, Demyx pulled back and tucked his head into Axel's shoulder and sighed. It felt so right. So normal. He smiled to himself and then quietly mumbled "Axel..."

He received a grunt in reply.

"I love you," he said gently.

Axel placed a sweet kiss against the crown of his head. "I love you too... I really do."

* * *

Reviews are the alcohol to my bar? :D


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